White Noise Insanity

First off, this is a picture of Kern's Inn in Eustis, Maine. My cousin Mike and his wife used to own this place. It has a bar, restaurant (both take up the whole first floor...the 2nd floor has the inn rooms and the apartment where my cousin and his wife lived with their three children) and also includes the Chalet, which has additional rooms and is behind whoever took this picture of Kern's Inn that I found on the Internet. This place is so much fun! Even before my cousin bought it, we (cousins) all used to go there and to the other bar across the street and would tear up the town (which has only 600 people in it LOL) for a weekend. When we all get together, we have a wicked good time.

It was a New Year's Eve in the late 1990's and all the us cousins had planned to spend the evening in Eustis to celebrate in the new year. After dinner and showers in our rooms at the Chalet, we all met back at Kern's to get the night started. We took three tables and put them together and that's when the fun began. Those that know me know the first couple of drinks I have I don't get crazy. In fact, it's almost deceitful in a way, especially for my cousin Mike, since he's the one who has to babysit me after a certain point, because just when he thinks 'Cousin Kay' is going to be a good girl for the rest of the night because I'm being so quiet and sweet, that's about the same time the booze hits me and it's all over...he gets duped again. Well, that's exactly what happened...

With the booze running through our veins, we all decided to hit the dance floor. I can't remember what kind of band was playing that night (way too much alcohol!), but I do remember ripping the microphone out of the lead singer's hands in the middle of a song and finishing it with my cousins around me jumping, dancing, screaming, and singing with me! It was at that point the babysitting of me began. My cousin Mike, who for the most part has to stay behind the bar because he is the bartender, is now yelling for me to behave, so I return my answer to him by sticking my fingers in my mouth and belting out the loudest whistle ever in my lifetime (though, I think the microphone I was holding had a lot to do with how loud it was!!! Ouch... it was painful!). After this, I then see Mike in the corner of my eye throw his bartender towel over his shoulder in a moment of defeat. He now knows that he has lost control of his family and pretty much lets us get it out of our systems for the rest of the night.

The whole night is fun. We are dancing, whistling, singing, and as usual, I've become the other lead singer for most of the night. By the time last call is called, Mike is pretty much frazzled and we cousins are still wanting to party. When the bar finally closes, it doesn't matter how drunk you are, we all have to stay behind to help clean up the bar and bathrooms. As part of my punishment for the night, I was given the chore of cleaning the men's urinals. I have to say, years of owning a housecleaning business and seeing that men are much cleaner than women, I was back at the bar rather quickly! Woohoo! We all gather around the bar and continue drinking until we're kicked out by a very tired Mike.

It's now 3:00am and time to head back to our rooms. My cousin Karen and I leave together because I'm having trouble walking and she wants to make sure I find the Chalet, which is a straight shot from the door of the bar (LOL). When we come outside we find that it had snowed quite a bit and under the snow it was kind of icy, so her and I are walking slowly to avoid falling. My cousin Phil comes out of his room at the Chalet and is yelling something to us from his balcony. We try to stop momentarily to hear what he is saying when all of a sudden we lose our balance and fall straight down to the ground.

What happened next was absolutely pitiful.

Not only did we fall straight down, but somehow Karen, who is at least a hundred pounds heavier than I am, managed to fall directly on my head and is now sitting on it with her legs spread apart and talking to Phil like nothing has happened. I have no idea what she was saying to him but I bet she said, "Where's Kay?", because she has no idea she is sitting on my head, because she's so freaking drunk! So here I am. I'm trying to breathe and all I can hear is my own muffled voice pleading from under her ass fo her to get off my head. When she finally realizes what she is sitting on, she gets off me and the first thing I hear upon returning to the hearing world is everyone laughing their asses off (and their laughter was loud too, I may add, because my ears were devoid of sound for a few minutes there!!) I get up and not only do I have Karen's jean print on the right side of my face, but now the left side of my head is matted with snow and my hair is a wreck. OMG...freaking hysterical! Karen and I were laughing so hard that it took us 5 minutes to get across the parking lot because we kept falling while laughing! We get back to our room and collapse. I didn't even fix my hair, because quite frankly, I probably would have electrocuted myself! ;-)

(To this day, no one will tell me if Phil saw me under her or not. I think he did but was too busy laughing at what he was seeing!)

That's my story. This night is one of my most favorite New Year's Eve celebrations for sure. I've gone out many other times and have done this kind of craziness in Portland with my exes, but there's something about being with family on New Year's Eve and having a ball together that is so much more fun and memorable. I miss hanging out with my cousins, though. We are now scattered throughout Maine and my cousin Phil and his wife are in Florida. Most of us have kids and we don't get to see each other as much, but one thing is for sure, I will always treasure the days we did!

I hope my family and all my friends have a wonderful New Year's celebration tonight no matter where they are or what they are doing. Let's hope the New Year brings lots of peace, joy, and happiness to each and every one of you too. Love ya!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!